


Some Habits Are Hard to Break

by orphan_account



Series: TsukkiKage Week 2015 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, TsukkiKage Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:08:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5446028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima Kei wonders what's worse; being in love with someone who has OCD, or having it. But nevertheless, he's determined to stay right by Kageyama Tobio's side and be there for him no matter what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Habits Are Hard to Break

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE READ:** In this story, Kageyama has OCD, but this story _does not represent anyone or everyone who suffers this disorder_. I did enough research to understand that Kageyama's personality switch at night only was plausible. To be frank, I did as much research as this story needed. I did not go in-depth. I do not speak for everyone who has OCD. 
> 
> I am not a professional, nor am I a suffer. I am someone who saw a prompt and thought, "I have an interesting idea that I want to write."
> 
> There may be some errors, some things I got wrong, but any mistakes I make are not intentional and I am very open to being corrected. 
> 
> That said, I hope you enjoy this story!

It used to piss Kei off, before he truly understood, the way that Tobio needed to check the doors to make sure they were locked and to clean the counters he’d just cleaned four times over, and the way he organised their shoes a few times in the genkan to make sure they weren’t a trip-hazard.

But Kei does understand now, so he patiently waits. This only ever happens at night before bed and Tobio’s only kept Kei waiting for around an hour. If Tobio goes to check the door a sixth time, that’s when Kei will intervene and reassure him; if Kei intervenes before then, Tobio won’t be able to sleep. There’s something special about the sixth time that never fails to convince Tobio he’s done a good job at locking the door to keep them safe and cleaning up to keep them healthy.

“You should go to bed,” says Tobio, glancing up at Kei who stands in the doorway to the kitchen, watching Tobio clean the counters. “You need at least nine-and-a-half hours’ worth of sleep to wake up feeling well-rested, and if you don’t go to sleep within the hour you won’t be able to get enough sleep tonight.”

Kei knows Tobio’s counted the amount of hours he needs to have a perfect sleep, because Tobio regularly suffers bouts of insomnia that keeps him up for days on end, and counting Kei’s hours of sleep gives him something to do.

“Would you like some help cleaning up?” Kei asks instead.

“That’s okay. I just need to finish wiping down the counters, then I’ll check the door, then I’ll make sure the shoes aren’t in the way.” Tobio smiles up at Kei, whose heart constricts. He’s done that four times already. The smile gives way to a pondering expression. “Do you think I should mop the floors?”

“No,” says Kei honestly, “I think they’re sparkling clean.”

“Hmm. I think you’re right. I’ll save that for tomorrow night then.” Tobio stares at Kei, head tilted to the side. “Are you sure you’re not going to go to bed? You need nine-and-a-half hours of sleep, you know.”

“I know,” says Kei, “but there’s still plenty of time.”

Tobio glances down at his watch. His lips move silently as he counts the hours. “Oh, you’re right. There’s still fifty-three minutes before the hour is up.” He dumps the wad of paper towel in the bin and stiffens, eyes widening. “I need to go and check the door and move the shoes.”

Kei moves aside to let Tobio dart past him.

The real reason Kei can’t go to bed is because Tobio hates it when his side of the bed is messed up before he gets into it. Kei has a bad habit of mucking up Tobio’s side of the bed when he gets in, so he’s forced himself to grow used to waiting. Each day makes him slightly more patient than the last.

When the sixth time rolls around, Kei sets a gentle hand on Tobio’s shoulder and says, “You’ve done a really good job, Tobio, and you look tired now. How about we go to bed, yeah?”

“But what if we come down into the genkan and trip over the shoes there?” Tobio asks. “I have to make sure they’re all out of the way.”

Kei really needs to buy a shoe cupboard, just to see if it will put Tobio’s mind at ease to store all of their shoes away where he can’t see them. He thinks he’ll be able to do it next month, when their finances are free of bills.

“You’ve done a really good job,” Kei repeats calmly. “You pushed them right up against the front, and you know we have long strides. There’s no way we’ll even touch them when we set down. You’ve protected us both from tripping.”

Tobio beams, his spine straightening as he preens under the praise. “I did do a good job, didn’t I? Yes. I think it’s time for b—did I lock the door?”

“Let me check for you,” says Kei, just like he always does at this moment. He steps down, making sure to lengthen his stride more than usual so he misses the line of shoes completely, and grabs the handle of the door and twists. It doesn’t open. He twists it again and jerks on it, then turns back to Tobio. “It’s definitely locked. Nobody is getting in tonight! Well done, Tobio.”

Tobio grins, and then he says, “I need to wash my hands.”

Kei’s shoulders droop. Oh, so it’s gonna be one of _those_ nights. Usually at this point he’s convinced Tobio and they’re already heading up to bed, but there are nights when he needs to wash his hands repeatedly because he’s not convinced they’re clean enough.

“I’ll wait for you,” he says.

“No, you shouldn’t,” says Tobio. “You need nine-and-a-half hours of sleep to get a good night’s rest so you’re not tired in the morning. Waiting for me could throw off your sleep schedule and you’ll be grumpy in the morning.”

They’re walking to the bathroom now.

Kei says, “I think there’s enough hours left in the night for me to get nine-and-a-half hours rest.”

Tobio checks his watch. “Oh, you’re right! There’s still forty-six minutes left in the hour. Just enough time to get all the hours you need.”

It’s not like this during the day. Tobio’s obsessive-compulsive disorder only rears its ugly head at night, right before bed. During the day, Tobio’s normal. Doesn’t have the itching need to clean everything, or check the doors, or reorder their shoes. He plays volleyball, makes a mess, and puts up with Kei’s teasing only to respond in kind. It’s after dinner, when the dishes are cleared up and they’re preparing for bed that Tobio starts getting that itch, that desire, to order everything and clean over and over and over again. One night, he went through an entire spray bottle on the counters in the kitchen before Kei realised and intervened. That hadn’t been a good night.

Kei sits on the edge of the bathtub and watches Tobio scrub his hands with single-minded determination.

At the beginning of their relationship, he had wondered why he put up with this, and some part of him had been nagging at him to walk away. He used to get so annoyed with Tobio and screamed at him, only to find Tobio sobbing in the bathroom later on, rocking back and forth, tugging at his hair.

Kei used to think it was so hard for him to deal with, but after a lengthy chat with Tadashi, it all seemed to get turned over in his head.

“If it’s difficult for you to deal with,” said Tadashi on that fateful day, lips pursed and hands folded neatly on his lap. That’s how Kei knew Tadashi was disappointed in him for his narrow-minded train of thought, “then just imagine how difficult it is for him.”

“What do you mean?” Kei asked.

“I mean … What I mean is that Kageyama doesn’t want any of this. He didn’t ask for his obsessive-compulsive disorder. If he had a choice, he _wouldn’t_ clean up several times over, or stress about your sleep schedule. This is the way his brain is hard-wired. The last thing Kageyama gets is a choice.”

“I know that, but—”

“If you wanted to walk away from him, you could. You could get away from his OCD and find another relationship with someone who doesn’t have the disorder—”

“Hang on a minute, I’m not saying—”

“But he _doesn’t_ get to walk away from it,” Tadashi finished. “If you truly love him, then you’d learn to put up with it. He can’t help it, but you _can_ help him.”

“So you’re saying I have no choice but to stay with him?”

“I’m not saying that at all,” said Tadashi calmly. “What I’m saying is that you should think really carefully about whether he’s worth it. If you want to leave, that’s your right. If you love him and you want to be with him, isn’t a few minutes to an hour out of your night the least you could spare to put his mind at ease? All you need is patience and understanding, and the knowledge of when it’s safe to intervene and when it’s not. And, over time, you could convince him to seek out professional help.”

 _That’s just like Tadashi_ , Kei muses, coming out of his reverie. _Always pulling me back on the straight and narrow, always pointing out where I’ve gone wrong in my reasoning. Always knowing what I need to hear and saying it without qualms._

It’s been six months since that talk, and Kei’s thanked every deity that exists that he didn’t walk away.

“Kei,” says Tobio quietly. “I’ve finished washing my hands. Are you tired?”

Kei grunts as he stands, joints popping as he stretches. “A little. Are you ready to go to bed?”

Tobio nods, hiding a yawn behind his hands. “I think I can sleep tonight.”

Slowly, Kei reaches out and takes Tobio’s hand. A shiver of pleasure shoots down Kei’s spine when Tobio not only lets him, but squeezes back. There are nights when Tobio can’t stand to be touched, but tonight is evidently not that night.

“That’s good,” says Kei, as he leads Tobio to their bedroom. “It’s been a couple of days, hasn’t it?”

“Three, I think,” Tobio replies. He yawns again.

Kei stands back and allows Tobio to smooth his hands over the small creases in the bedspread, before he pulls back his corner and slips into the bed. In comparison to other nights, this is a very good night indeed. Kei gets into the bed as well.

“Goodnight, Tobio,” he says, reaching out to stroke Tobio’s hair.

Shuffling over, Tobio plasters himself to Kei’s side. “Night, Kei.”

Tomorrow night might be a bad one, where Tobio can’t calm down long enough to stop cleaning and any intervention could end up in a one-sided screaming match. This might also be the last night for a few days that Tobio gets any sleep. But Kei will enjoy this night and be thankful for it.

It might be difficult to deal with, but Tobio’s worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow me on Tumblr for more KageTsukki!](http://beaunaratau.tumblr.com/)
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> 
> Fair warning; I am very off-track when it comes to this OTP week as well as KageSuga and Oikage, and therefore I can only post what I have completed. I'm likely not going to be able to post in the correct order. I'll do my very best, though, to make sure I complete and post everything.


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